Fathers’ views on family and work after COVID-19 lockdowns

Key takeaways for caregivers

• Fathers often want to be present for their children and contribute to household tasks, but they can lack opportunities and confidence; they may see themselves as “helpers” instead of parents.
• Australian fathers in our small study reported that they spent more time with their children during the COVID-19 lockdowns, and they saw the resulting benefits for themselves and their children.
• Despite parental leave policies and opportunities for more flexible working arrangements, fathers still experience an unspoken stigma in the workplace about taking leave or leaving work early to spend time with their children. In some workplaces, this changed following pandemic lockdowns.

How were fathers affected by changes in parenting during COVID-19 lockdowns?

The COVID-19 pandemic and its associated lockdown orders caused an abrupt and complex disruption to conventional patterns of work and home life for many families. For example, in a U.K. study, at the start of the pandemic, parents of children younger than 12 spent nearly 50 more hours per week caring for their children than they did before the pandemic. Although most of this additional child care was provided by mothers, fathers also increased their involvement in child care and household tasks, at least at the beginning of the pandemic.

We explored fathers’ experiences of lockdown and the impact of this increased time with their children on men’s views of their relationship with their children and their family-work life balance.

We interviewed 15 Australian fathers, aged between 33 and 59, who were part of a larger study investigating fathers’ involvement in parenting young children at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Most parenting research captures only mothers’ experiences, and during the pandemic, most studies focused on the number of hours parents spent on different household and child care activities.

In contrast, our study looked at how fathers felt about their parenting and work-family life balance. Our aim was to identify whether lockdown experiences served as a catalyst for some fathers to think differently about their future parenting and how they wanted to spend their time.

Exploring fathers’ perspectives on parenting prior to and at the start of the pandemic

The Australian fathers we talked to were all married to women and lived with their children (ages 4 months to 10 years). Most fathers were employed full time and worked from home during the pandemic. We interviewed them about four main topics:

1. The types of activities they did with their children before versus during COVID-19 lockdowns
2. Their reflections about their children and themselves as parents
3. The impact of COVID-19 on sharing household tasks
4. Their attitudes toward flexible working arrangements

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Finding 1: Fathers valued “being present” with their children

We analyzed recordings of our interviews with fathers to identify commonalities in the responses. The three main themes we identified reflected the importance of being present as a father:

1. Fathers reported an ongoing desire to be present for their children.
2. Despite the stressors of lockdowns, fathers valued the opportunity to spend more time with their children and to witness how they developed new skills, interests, and personality traits.
3. Fathers reported feeling conflicting pressures from their workplace and at home that were barriers to being present.

Fathers said one of the more fundamental learning experiences of the lockdown was that they noticed the extent to which their engagement with their children affected their relationship positively. Studies have shown the importance of fathers taking an active role in their children’s development, with fathers experiencing a sense of loss from missing important milestones and having a perceived lack of closeness with their children. The increase in shared experiences during the pandemic may have a long-term positive impact on fathers and their children.

Finding 2: The pandemic led to some changes in fathers’ roles and experiences

We followed up with 10 fathers one year after the initial interviews to examine the impact of their experiences. Although many couples in the United Kingdom with young children returned to the traditional gender divide in child care and household responsibilities within six months, our follow-up survey revealed that 9 of the 10 Australian fathers had changed their working patterns.

After their experiences of parenting during lockdowns, many of these fathers made changes so they could be more actively involved in their children’s care, such as doing more school pickups and dropoffs.

Positive changes in the workplace

Several fathers said they perceived positive changes in the attitudes and behaviors of their workplace managers and colleagues. Following the lockdowns, these fathers’ workplace culture shifted, with flexible hours less frowned upon and, as one father noted, “no stigma anymore.” However, other fathers still felt an unspoken stigma in the workplace about taking leave or leaving work early to spend time with their children.

After their experiences of parenting during lockdowns, many of these fathers made changes so they could be more actively involved in their children’s care, such as doing more school pickups and dropoffs.

Finding 3: Fathers’ descriptions continued to reflect perceived roles as “assistants” in the home

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

When asked about division of household chores during the lockdowns, most fathers in our study used phrases such as “chipping in” or “helping out” their partners. These terms were evident even among fathers who had sought an equal split in household responsibilities before the pandemic began. This idea of the father as a helper or assistant in the home may reflect a cultural norm as opposed to an unwillingness to engage in household chores.

A lack of self confidence in fathers

Fathers in our study identified a lack of confidence in themselves and other fathers in their social circle in their ability to parent. This could be due to a lack of opportunity to spend time with their children from infancy, and to a hesitancy to seek out flexible working arrangements, which could build fathers’ skills and self-confidence in child care and household activities. Because fathers’ roles tend to be less scripted than mothers’, they are frequently more susceptible to contextual influences.

Fathers in our study identified a lack of confidence in themselves and other fathers in their social circle in their ability to parent.

Conclusions

Despite the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic and its consequent lockdowns, the Australian fathers we interviewed valued the opportunity to spend more time with their children. These fathers, most of whom were in stable relationships and full-time employment, said their desire to be active and present for their children was obstructed by workplace attitudes, the perception of themselves as “assisting” or “helping” with household chores, and conflicting demands at work and at home.

COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns served as catalysts for many fathers

Our findings suggest that the start of the COVID-19 pandemic and imposed lockdowns provided the opportunity for some fathers to adjust their roles and responsibilities at home, and to see the impact of these changes. Past research has come to similar conclusions when fathers lose their employment or are otherwise unable to engage in paid work.

But the widespread, sudden, synchronized disruption of schools and businesses during the lockdowns may have made this experience a unique catalyst for change. Many of the barriers fathers mentioned, such as lack of flexible work arrangements, were removed. Fathers could pursue opportunities to be more involved in parenting, something that many said they wanted before the pandemic but were unable to pursue.

Photo by Elina Fairytale from Pexels

How can we better balance parenting and work for fathers?

• Fathers should seek out workplaces with a culture that supports parental leave and flexible working conditions. These allow fathers to be more involved in their children’s lives and can strengthen their confidence in parenting.
• Families and employers should remember that the benefits of fathers taking parental leave and flexible work arrangements extend to the whole family. Fathers and their children gain valuable time together, while parenting partners also benefit from sharing tasks and responsibilities.
• Families can reflect on the changes they experienced during the lockdown and identify ways to recreate some of the benefits, even as the global pandemic has subsided and lockdowns are no longer happening.